we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
