I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
