haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize