my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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