dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize