Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My ATM looks so different sober.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
