Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
