sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
