It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
