Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
