i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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