Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
