nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
