Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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