he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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