Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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