I puked a lego.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
