FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
