addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
