I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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