You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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