I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
