i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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