I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
