he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As shirtless as possible
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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