I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
