So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize