What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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