so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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