Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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