No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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