i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
