i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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