Define "chronic" masturbator.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
