My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
