I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
