I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
