Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
