i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize