just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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