R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i out mim tonsoeep
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