This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
