Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
