ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
