What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
