i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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