I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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