I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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