How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
