is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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