i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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