take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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