There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
