I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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