If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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