So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This is the high leading the old right now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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