i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
