I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize