I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
